Page:Isvar Chandra Vidyasagar, a story of his life and work.djvu/686

639 son, I have thrown obstacles to all your happiness. How I wish I would have died, though born.

'You, being alone, have been put to a deal of inconvenience and trouble. Had Gopal been living now, he could have kept all sides safe.

'In consequence, though you are surrounded by a numerous family, you are alone. Your son, son-in-laws, brothers,—if any one of these were equal to your mind, you could have left charge with him, and in illness could have lived a retired, secluded life free from anxieties. Whenever I recall to my mind your thinned limbs, pale face, and enfeebled voice,—and over and above that, your anxieties and troubles for others—when I recall to my mind how you go to Karmatar with only a servant for your companion, it strikes me, why should I be still living? How I wish I could draw out my tongue and commit suicide for my own faults.

'That great man, that seat of patient fortitude, that peerless great man, that demigod, who at one time displayed uncommon forbearance by devouring a cock-roach at meal time, for fear lest the eating of other people's meals should be spoiled—how strange, that great man, though possessed of such extraordinary powers, does not forgive his own son! However serious an offence might be, it is