Page:Indira and Other Stories.pdf/32

 pleasured than ashamed. This was the first smile that had ever given me such joy—no one had ever smiled at me quite like that before, and all the smiles of all the men in the world seemed like poison in comparison.

And now I am sure that all my lady readers who love their lords will frown and say, "Shameless one, but this is falling in love!" It is perfectly true, I had fallen in love. But reflect. Though I was a married woman, I had been practically widowed all my life. I had only seen my husband once at our marriage, and I was then only ten years old. All the desires of my youth were unsatisfied. When the net was thrown into such deep and unplumbed water, what wonder that it raised a big wave!

I must admit that in making this confession, I cannot be acquitted of blame. Whatever its cause, or even if there be no cause, sin is sin. A mere pleading of motives is no excuse for sin. But in all my life this was my first sin—and my last sin—of that kind.

When I returned to my kitchen, the thought