Page:In the name of a woman (1900).djvu/264

 saw the tears standing in her eyes, and her voice was all unsteady as she cried from her heart:

"Does he think I would not do this if I dared?" And throwing herself back in her seat, she pressed her hands to her face, quite overcome with the strain of her emotions.

I waited in much embarrassment, uncertain whether to go or stay. Some moments passed in this tense silence, and then, to my surprise, she turned upon me with some indignation.

"Why did you bring him here to humiliate me like this? Does it give you pleasure to stay and witness my weakness—or what you deem weakness? Cannot you understand what I feel? Is everything to yield place to ambition, and are the dictates of humanity nothing to you? Cannot you see what I am suffering, torn in this way by the distracting doubts of such a crisis? Do you think these tears are not as hard for me to shed as the blood of others as innocent of wrong as God knows I am? Why do you plague me until I Oh, forgive me my wild words! I don't know what I am saying." And she passed in a breath from indignation to lament.

"Permit me to leave you now, Princess," I murmured.

"Would you also leave me in anger? Have I no friend staunch enough to bear with my moods, or true enough to understand me? Yes, Count Benderoff, if you wish to go the way is open to you." And, rising, she stood erect and proud, and made me a stately bow as of dismissal. "I can decide and act alone, if need be." Yet in the very moment of her passing indignation her lip quivered and her breath was tremulous.

"As God is my judge, I have no thought but for