Page:In defense of Harriet Shelley, and other essays.djvu/94

 MARK TWAIN

President Western Union Tel. Co.:

Come and dine with me this evening. I can tell you ho\v business is conducted in one of your branches.

Presently the young fellow who had spoken so pertly a little before reached out and took the tele gram, and when he read it he lost color and began to apologize and explain. He said he would lose his place if this deadly telegram was sent, and he might never get another. If he could be let off this time he would give no cause of complaint again. The compromise was accepted.

As we walked away, the Major said: &quot;Now, you see, that was diplomacy and you see how it worked. It wouldn t do any good to bluster, the way people are always doing that boy can always give you as good as you send, and you ll come out defeated and ashamed of yourself pretty nearly always. But you see he stands no chance against diplomacy. Gentle words and diplo macy those are the tools to work with.&quot;

&quot;Yes, I see; but everybody wouldn t have had your opportunity. It isn t everybody that is on those familiar terms with the president of the West ern Union.&quot;

1 1 Oh, you misunderstand. I don t know the presi dent I only used him diplomatically. It is for his good and for the public good. There s no harm in it. &quot; I said, with hesitation and diffidence: &quot;But is it ever right or noble to tell a lie?&quot; He took no note of the delicate self -righteous ness of the question, but answered, with undisturbed gravity and simplicity:

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