Page:Hugh Pendexter--Tiberius Smith.djvu/181

 "‘I say this is no will,' cried Mr. Remmy, trying to throttle his clients into silence. 'The statutes say a will must be in writing—'

"‘If done on a typewriter it's binding,' jeered Mr. Bilger.

"‘Printed characters are certainly within the statutes,' decided Tib.

"‘But not on cows!' gasped Mr. Remmy, pressing his tremulous hands to his fevered brow.

"‘The testator certainly had a right to execute his will on one cow,' howled Mr. Bilger, snapping his fingers under his opponent's nose. 'And where does the law draw the line and invade man's sovereign prerogative and declare, di cluckum nozzum, that he shall be relegated to one cow? What if he owns two small cows and must use them instead of one large cow? Is he a freeman or a slave? Must he swap the two critters for one? In the words of Justinian: In hoc signo vinces!'

"‘Trying to stun me with their boarding-house French,' muttered Tib, in my dazed ear. Then sternly, to Mr. Bilger: 'Honi soit qui mal y pense. Sit down, sir.' And poor Bilger wilted, while Mr. Remmy, who had butted into other courts, spun on his heel and dizzily staggered against the wall.

"‘I am of the opinion,' continued Tib, gravely, tapping the Unabridged impressively, 'that a man has a right—a legal right—to execute a binding will