Page:Hugh Pendexter--Tiberius Smith.djvu/175

 done, he began to yearn and hanker for a litigation. He had an idea that the hitherto accepted theory of jurisprudence was crude and noisy, and should be fitted out with ball-bearing sockets and a chronometer movement. He simply pined away the first hour of his incumbency for the want of a test case.

"He had just dusted off two volumes of statutes and was hefting five pounds of Somebody on Mortgages, and had expressed a hope we would have a busy summer, when Hiram Duzer, farm-hand, rushed into the office and begged for several quarts of undiluted justice.

"‘What kind do you want?' asked Tib, nervously, opening the statutes with rather a timid hand.

"‘A warrant fer th' arrest of John Peasly an' Jasper Turner, store-keepers, fer makin' off with valuable papers,' cried Hiram.

"‘Papers consisting of what?' I prompted, to give Tib his cue.

"‘Silas Higbutton's las' will an' testament,' explained Duzer, solemnly.

"‘Felony!' cried Tib, eying some tax receipts wisely. 'Hand me a blank warrant, Billy.'

"And after I'd found a chromo that looked like a board-of-health danger-signal, he gracefully scratched it with his pen and called in a lame constable and told him to do his duty.

"‘Hate like sin ter do it,' demurred the officer,