Page:Household Words - Volume 12.djvu/563



NOB AND SNOB. ABOUT fifteen years since two young gentlemen whom I will call (in deference to the social distinctions of my beloved country) Nob and Snob, obtained within a few days of each other, commissions by pur- chase in the military service. Nob had imbibed a great love for London life, and was anxious to enter the guards ; Snob had read accounts of our great battles in India and other countries, and wished to see service in the line. Both obtained their desires, and were duly gazetted to their respective corps. Nob entered the guards as an ensign and lieutenant, that is to say, he was, at starting in his career, an ensign in his ^regiment, but bore the rank of a lieutenant in the army the privilege and advantage enjoyed by 'young gentlemen who commence life in either of the ' three regiments of foot-guards. He joined his batta- lion in London, and commenced learning his duties. When I say joined, I do not mean that he took up his abode in barrack ; for such a sacrifice of comfort to duty is never asked nor expected. No ; he hired comfortable j lodgings in a west-end street ; so that, when | he was wanted for parade, drill, or guard- mounting, he could drive to the barracks in his cab in five minutes. Nor was his pre- sence often required with his men. For a couple of months he had a daily drill of about an hour ; but was allowed to learn a great deal of the manual and platoon ex- ercise from a sergeant of the corps, whom he paid for attending him at his lodgings, without the trouble of going to the drill- ground to learn it. In about two months the daily drills were discontinued ; for Nob was advanced enough to attend the adju- tant's parades ; which, in the fine season, took place three times a-week in one of the parks. These parades were held at the early hour of seven or eight in the morning, which considering it was the London season, and that Nob was very much addicted to balls, parties, the opera, and other late-hour amuse- ments was decidedly a bore. But these terrible drawbacks only lasted the first year of his military noviciate : moreover, they oc- curred only three times a-week, and as, with an occasional guard-mounting at_St. James's, they formed the sum total of his duty, he managed to survive the annoyance, and never missed but one of these dreadful drills. The duty of guard- mounting at St. James's was not disagreeable far from it. To call the work " a ' dashed ' bore," was a matter of course ; but that after all is only a fashion of talking. It was rather pleasant to march through the park, in gorgeous scarlet and gold lace, preceded by one of the best military bands in the world, in part command of a body of bearskin-capped war- riors, the admired of bevies of nursery-maids. Nor whilst on guard did the time pass un- pleasantly. There was the lounge up to " the guards' club," the social chat at its con- spicuous window, and the pleasant dinner of twelve in the palace guard-room ; where the best repast and wine is served every evening upon the most costly plate, at the expense of a grateful country, to the officers who go through the toil and exposure of guarding, for twenty-four hours, the sacred precincts of St. James's palace. It imposed just enough duty to let a man know he had a profession ; a profession which gave him a certain standing in London society. Nob's battalion only changed its quarters once in the year, and that did not always entail a move amongst the officers. For instance, if the battalion performed the arduous march from St. John's Wood barracks to those in Portman-street, or from Portman -street to those in Trafalgar - square, the officers of course need not change their lodgings. To reach their men's quarters cost only five mi- nutes more or less in the cab, and that was of no great consequence to the Bramins. The greatest distance our hero had to march, was from London to Winchester, the latter being the most distant station of foreign ser- vice to which his fortunate corps had ever to undergo banishment. For these and other excellent reasons, Nob stuck to the guards. He liked the admiration which emblazonment in scarlet and gold at- tracted to his handsome person. Besides, he found the life not ruinously expensive. The cost of living is by no means great iu the Guards, provided a young man be prudent during the first years of his service, and be wise enough afterwards to profit by experience. Excepting when a battalion of the Bramins is stationed at Windsor or Winchester,