Page:Horrid Mysteries Volume 3.djvu/115

 The only thing I did was to make observations on myself; and the deeper I penetrated into the secrets of my feelings, the more coldness to Caroline did I discover in my heart. I was highly rejoiced at it, and yet apprehended that it was impossible I loved her nevertheless. I heated myself more violently in attempting to grow cooler, and secretly asked myself, "Is it possible you could love Caroline? It scarcely can be; and yet I apprehend it really is so. She has, indeed, not gentleness and judgment enough, and also appears to have too much self will, as to be capable to sacrifice much for her lover; however, she has a certain spirit of conversation which charms me, and a natural insinuation that flatters self-love, and must render its object happy. But is all this worth sacrificing a tried friend, whose peace of mind appears to depend on her love? No, Carlos! be ashamed, and conquer a fatal passion, that owes its existence merely to an unnatural state of thy body,