Page:History of the Haverel wives, or, The folly of witless women displayed (2).pdf/24



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mither, that's naeway cankard to the cats, nor kicks the colley-dogs amang her feet, that wad let a' brute beasts live, but rats, mice, lice, flaes, neets and bugs, that bites the wee bairns in their cradles, that carefully comb the young things' heads, washes their faces and claps their cheeks, snites the snotter frae their rose as they were a' her ain, that's the lass that will mak a good wife; for them that dauts the young bairns, will ay be kind to auld fouk an they had them. And ony hale-hearted halsome hissie, that wants to halter a good husband, never tak a widow's ae son, for a' the wifely gates in the warld will be in him, for want of a father to teach him manly actions; neither tak a sour looking sumf wi' a muckle mouth, and a wide guts who will eat like a horse and soss like a sow, suffer none to sup but himsel, eat your meat and the bairns' baith; when hungry angry, when fu' full of pride, ten sacks will not baud his sauce, tho' a pea-shap wad haud his siller: But go, tak your chance, and if cheated, channer not on me, for fashionable fouk flee to fashionable things, for lust is brutish blind, and fond love as blear-ey'd. I add no more, says Janet, so be it, said Humphray the Clerk.

F I N I S.