Page:History of the Haverel wives, or, The folly of witless women displayed (2).pdf/15

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of none effect; nothing must be used now but thunder-bolts of reproach tartly trimm'd up in a tantalízing style, roughly redd up and manufactured thro' an auld Matron's mouth, who is indeed but frail in the teeth, but will squeeze surprizingly with her auld gums until her very chaft-blades crack in the crushing of your vice, I shall branch out my discourse into four heads. First, What I have seen, and been witness to. Secondly, What I now see, and am witness to. Thirdly, What I have heard, sloes hear, and cannot help; I mean the difference between the old women and the young. Fourthly, Conclude with an advice to young men and young women, how to avoid the buying of Janet Juniper's stinking butter*, which will have a rotten 'rift on their stomach as long as they live. First, The first thing then, I see and observe is, That a wheen daft giddy-headed, cock-nosed, juniper-nebbed mothers, bring up a wheen sky-racket dancing daughters, a' bred up to be ladies, without so much as the breadth of their lufe of land, it's an admiration to me, whare the lairds are a' to come -- * A nick-name to the wife's daughter that no man will marry because stuff'd full of laziness, self. conceit and stinking pride; or if she be married she'll lie like stinking butter on his stomach while she lives.