Page:History of the Haverel wives, or, The folly of witless women displayed (2).pdf/13

 13

Indeed, Maggy, an ye be a mind to marry, ye maun snod yoursel better up, cast awa your staff, singe your whiskers wi' a candle or firstick, stand straight up like a rash, kekle and look canty-like whan carles is gawn by, tak a mouthfu' o' good meat, and a drap dram i' the mornin will keep the dirt aff your face and raise the red in your cheek, ye see the hens turns ay red lugget or they begin to lay. A body that wants a bit man, maun use mony a shift for ane, I ken how I did mysel, whan I was fourteen lang year a widow, an thought ne'er to gotten ane, I fled our John when he was a saft silly docus callan to ca' the pleugh, and keepit him three years till he turn'd a wally wincer, and fain wad I had him, but he wadna speak o't to me, but ae day we ware in the house our lone, an I ties a gude hard stane-knot on the strings o' my toy beneath my chin, and fykes wit a-wee, then says, O Johnny, my man, look an ye can louse this knot wi' your teeth, he lays a hand on every shoulder and louses the knot, an I grips him by the twa lugs, and gies him a kiss, and says, Poor man Johnny, thou has a sweet breath, thou needna want a bit kiss o' me whan thou likes lad, I true that culli'd him hither ay the mair, Ha, ha, thou has nae art woman. Enters Humphray Clinker, hearing a' that past, persuades his aunt Maggy, that no man would marry such as her, for she looked like a picture of death riding upon hunger's back,