Page:History of Oregon Literature.djvu/579

 : Your lack of knowledge of the English language is painful, as evidenced by your statement that you shoved a piece of pie down your sarcophagus. I know what you intended to say, you intended to say "epidermis". PHIL.


 * We're sorry, Phil, but we have you this time. We meant to say "sarcophagus" just as we did say, meaning of course, the pie was going to its final resting place. Besides, "epidermis", you mentioned, is not a part of the throat at all, it is a small bone in the left ear.

PHIL.
 * You pretend to know so much about the English language, can you settle a dispute by telling me through your column what the plural of the word "cheese" is? phil.


 * Ha! Back again are you? Think you can stick on this one? Cheese is the plural of cheese. The singular of cheese is chee, as you should know. Sounds singular, too, doesn't it?

My goodness, Phil, didn't you ever eat a chee? You don't know what you've missed.

Fred Lamport, our banker friend, has just come back from Europe where he saw kings and queens in the streets, and sat down in the very seat in the Colosseum where Nero fiddled while Rome burned, and we asked Fred when he was in Europe what he ate—

"Ate percent" said Fred absently, as he toyed with our overdraft, which he had picked up from his desk.

Our fair Woodburn correspondent the other day sent up to Ted Brown, our advertising man, an advertisement for the classified columns to sell a coach.

Ted put it under the poultry heading instead of under the auto heading and he got a note from the fair correspondent saying he misunderstood her, that she wanted to sell a coach, not a coup.