Page:History of John Cheap the comical chapman.pdf/13

 of them serv’d me, whereon I past over that long day, and went to my old companion, but slept not sound, being afraid of mistress sow's coming to revenge the quarrel her and I had the night before, On the morning I went to the house, the goodman ordered me the pottage pot to lick, for said, he it is an old property to chapmen ; I had no sooner begun to it, than out comes a large mastiff and grips me by the breast, then turns me over on my back and takes the pot himself. Ay ay, said the goodman I think you and your brother potlicker cannot agree about your breakfast. Well goodman, said I, you said potlicking was a chapman's property, but your dog proves the contrary ; so away I comes, and meeting the goodwife at the noor, bade her farewell for ever, but what is your husband's name, said I, she answered John Swine; I was thinking so, said I, he has such nasty fashions; but whether was yon his mother or his sister I lay with these two nights.

All that day I travelled the country westward from Haddinton, but could get no meat; when I asked if they had any to sell, they told me they never sold any bread, and I found by sad experience they had none to give for nothing. I came to a little country village and went through it house after house, and could neither get bread nor ale to buy; at last I came to a poor weaver's, and asked him if he could lend me a hammer; yes, said he, what are ye gaun to do wi t ? indeed, said I, I'm going to beat out my teeth, for I can get no bread to buy in this country for all the stores and Hacks ye have in it. What, said he, was you in the minister's ? I know not, said I, does he keep an alehouse? O no said he, he preaches every Sunday, and what does he preach says I, is it to harden our hearts altogether, have no charity, hate strangers, hunger the poor, eat and drink all yourselves, bet-