Page:History of John Cheap the comical chapman.pdf/12

 a like fallow, an' wha kens whether I was honest or not, he may fill his wallet wi' our claise and slunk awa or day light. At last I was conducted to the swine's stye, to sleep with an old sow and seven pigs, and here I lay for two nights. Now I began to reflect on the bad effects of drinking, and own all the miseries just that were come upon me. In the night the pigs came grunting very kindly about me, thinking, I was some friend of their mother’s come to see them. They gave me very little rest always kissing me with their cauld snouts, which caused me to rung them off with my stick, then they made such a terrible noise that their mother came to argument the matter, running upon me with open mouth; but I gave her such a whack over the lang snout that she roared out murder in her own language, that alarmed the servants, who came to see what was the matter; I told them their old sow was going to swallow me up, alive, and bade them go and fetch her some meat, which they did, and the brute became more peaceable.

On the Sabbath morning I came into the house, the goodman asked me if I could shave any ; yes, said I, but never do on the Sabbath-day: I fancy said he, you’re some wastland wig. Sir, said I you used me like a Tory, when you sent me into the stye to sleep in your sow's oxter, who was a fitter companion for a devil than a human creature, the most abominable brute on the earth, who was forbid to be eaten under the law, and cursed under the gospel : be they curs d or bless’d said he, I wish I had enew of them, but an ye'll not take off my beard, ye’s get nae meat here the day; then, if you’ll not give me meat and drink for money until the Sabbath day be past, I’ll take on my wallet and go along with you to the kirk, and tell your minister how you used me like a hog; no, said the goodwife, you shall not want your crowdie man ; but my heart being full of sorrow and revenge a few