Page:History of John Cheap the comical chapman.pdf/11

 or mug all at once; but the whole profits went to the landlady, to make up the loss for having the lime pissed off her door cheeks, and what we could not pish, we say through our teeth, and gave the dog the girt bits.

But at last our money ran short, and the landlady had no faith nor chalk to credit us, seeing by our coats, courage and conduct, that we would little mind performance 'gainst the day of payment. When we began to turn sober, and the wife behind the hand, and every one of us to seek supply from another; so when we collected all the money we had amongst us on the table, was four-pence halfpenny, which we lovingly divided among us, being only three baubees a piece. As drouthy Tom’s flock and mine were conjunct, we gave the Quake again his shitting stuff and mugs, and he gave us again our goods and puckles of hair, which we equally divided between us, the whole amounting only to 18s. 6d. prime cost, and so we parted: I went for East Lothian, and he for the West country.

My assortment of goods being very unsuitable for that country I got little or no money, which caused me to apply to the good man for quarters, and it being on a Saturday night, was very ill to be found, till very late in the night I prevailed to get staid in a great farmer’s house, about two miles from Haddington; they were nil at supper when I came in, and I was ordered to sit down behind their backs the goodwife then took a dish, went round the servants and collected a soup out of every cog, which was sufficient to have served three men; the goodwife ordered me to be laid in the barn all night for my bed, but the bully-fac’d goodman swore he had too much stuff in his barn to venture mo there; the goodwife said, I should not lye in the house, for then I would be o’er near the lasses bed; the lads swore I should not go with them, for I was