Page:History of John Cheap the chapman (3).pdf/13

 and then set out again, keeping my course westward. It being now night, I came to a farmer's house south from Dalkeith; the goodman being very civil, and desirous of news, I related the whole passages of the two days and nights by-past; whereat he was greatly diverted, and said, I was the first he hard of, that ever that man gave quarters to before, though he was an elder of the parish. So the goodman and I fell so thick, that he ordered me to be laid on a shakdown bed beyond the fire, where I lay more snug than among the swine. Now there was three women lying in a bed in the same apartment, and they not minding that I was there; first one of them rose and let her water go in below the chimney grate, where I had a perfect view of her bonny-thing, as the coal fire burnt so clearly all the night; then another rose and did she same; last of all got up the old matron, as she appear'd to be, like a second handed goodwife or a whirld o'er maiden, six times overturned, and as she let her dam go, she also with full force, when done, let a fart like a blast of a trumpet, which made the dust on the hearth stone to fly up like mist about her buttocks, whereat I was forced to laugh out, which made her to run for it, but to smother the laughter I stapt the blankets in my mouth, she went to bed and waken'd the other two, saying O dole! what will I tell you? yon chapman body has seen a our a--ses the night; shame fa him, said they, for we had nae mind he was there: I wat well, says one of them, I'se no rise till he be awa', but said the old woman, gin he has seen mine I cannot help it, it's just like other fouks, and fin't a hair I care. On the morning the old matron got up first and ordered up the house, then told one to rise now, for chapmen and every body was up; then she asked me if I had