Page:History of John Cheap the chapman (3).pdf/12

 dog from below the bed, and grips me by the breast, then turns me over upon my back, and takes the pot himself: ay, ay, said the goodman, I think your brother pot-licker and you cannot agree about your breakfast? A well, said I, goodman ye said that pot licking was a chapman's property, but your dog proves the contrary: so away I comes, and meeting the goodwife at the door, bids her farewell forever, but what, said I, is your husband's name? to which she answered, John Swine, I was thinking so, said I, he has such dirty fashions, but whether was yon his mother or his sister I lay with these two nights.

All that day I travelled the country west from Haddington, but could get no meat; when I asked if they had any to sell, they told me, they never did sell any bread, and I found by sad experience, they had none to give for nothing. I came into a little country village, and went through it all, house after house, and could get neither bread nor ale to buy: At last I came into a poor weaver's house, and asked him if he would lend me a hammer? Yes, said he, what are you going to do with it? Indeed said I, I am going to knock out all my teeth with it, for I can get no broadbread [sic] to buy in this country, for all the stores and stacks you have in it; What, said he, was you in the minister's? I know not, said I, does he keep an ale-house? O na, said he, he preaches every Sunday; and what does he preach, said I? is it to harden your hearts? haud well together? have no charity? hate strangers? hunger the poor? cateat [sic] and drink all yourselves? better burst your bellies then give it to beggars, or let good meat spoil: If your minister be as naughty as his people, I'm positive he'll drive a louse to London for the hyde and tallow. Here I bought the weaver's dinner for twopence