Page:History of John Cheap the chapman (2).pdf/23

 a river called Evan. And as I was coming past a mill-dam, there was a big clownish fellow lifting a pitcher of water out of the dam. So as he dipt it full and set it down on the ground, staring at me, he tumbled in himself out of sight over head and ears; and as soon as he got out, I said, Yo ho friend, I did you get the fish? What an a fish, ye b--h. O said I, I thought ye had seen a fish, when you jumped in to make it jump out. What a deil Sir, are you mocking me? runs round his pitcher, and gives me a kick on the arse, so that I fell designedly on his pitcher, and it tumbled down the bank, and went in pieces. His master and another man looking and laughing at us, the poor fellow complained of me to him but got no satisfaction.

The same evening, as I was going towards the town of Linlithgow, meets an old crabbed fellow riding upon an old glaid mare, which he always was a-threshing upon with his stick. Goode'en to you, goodman, said I, are you going to the bull wi' your mare? What do you say Sir, they gang to the bull wi' a cow ye brute. O yes, goodman, ye are right, said I, but how do they call that he-beast that rides upon the mare's back. They ca't a cusser Sir. A well then goode'en to you master cusser. He rides a little bit, then turns back in a rage, saying, I say Sir, your last words are waur nor your first. He comes then at the flight, to ride me down; but I struck his beast on the face, and in the short turn about, it fell, yet I could get my pack to the ground, he cutted me on the head at the first stroke: I then getting clear of the pack, played it away for some tine, till by blows on the face, I made him blood at both mouth and nose: then he cried out, Chapmen, we are baith daft, for we'll kill oursells and mak naething o't, we had better gree. With all my heart, said I, and what will ye buy? Nothing but a pair of beard