Page:History of John Cheap the chapman (2).pdf/14

 lay more snug than among the swine. Now there were three women lying in a bed in the same apartment, and they not minding that I was there, first one of them rose and let her water go in below the chimney-grate, where I had a perfect view of her bonny-thing, as the coal-fire burnt so clearly all the night; then another rose and did the same; last of all got up the old matron, as she appear'd to be, like a second-handed goodwife, or a whirl'd o'er maiden six times overturned, and as she let her dam go, she also, with full force, when done, let a fart like the blast of a trumpet, which made the dust on the hearth stone to fly up like a whirlwind about her buttocks, whereat I was obliged to laugh out, which made her run for it, but to smother the laughter I stapt the blankets in my mouth. She went to bed and waukened the other two, saying, O dole! what will I tell you? yon chapman body has seen a' our a-ses the night; shame fa' him, said they, for we had nae min' he was there. I wat weel, says one of them, I'se no rise till he be awa', but said the old woman, gin he has seen mine I canna help it, it's just like ither fouk's, and fient a hair I care. On the morning the old matron got up first, and ordered up the house, then told me to rise now, for chapmen and every body was up. Then she asked me if I had an use of laughing in my sleep? Yes, said I, when I see any daft like think, I can look and laugh at it as weel sleeping as waking. A good preserve us, said she, ye're an unco body, but ye neel nae wait on our porrage-time, I'se gie you cheese and bread in your pouch, which I willingly accepted, and away I came.

Then I kept my course west by the foot of Pentland hills, where I got plenty of hair, good and cheap, besides a great quantity of old brass which was an excellent article to make my little pack seem big and weighty. Then I came into a little country