Page:History of John Cheap, the chapman (8).pdf/3



JOHN CHEAP, by chance, at ſome certain time, doubtleſs againſt my will, was born at the Hottom, near Habertehoy mill: My father was a cotsScots [sic] Highlandman, and my mother a Yorkſhire wench, but honeſt, which cauſes me to be of a mongrel kind: I made myſelf a chapman when very young, in great hopes of being rich when I became old; but fortune was fickle, and ſo was I; for I had not been a chapman above two days, until I began to conſider the danger of deep ditches, midden-dubs, biting dogs, and bogles in barns, bangſter wives and wet ſacks: And what comfort is it, ſays I, to ly in a cow's ouxter, the length of a cold winter night; to ſit behind backs, till the kail be a' cuttied up, and then to lick colley's leavings.

My firſt journey was through old Kilpatrick. All the day long I got no meat nor money, until the evening, began to aſk for lodging, then every wife to get me away, would either give me a cogfuil of kail, or a piece of cake. Well, ſays I to myſelf, if this be the way, I ſhall begin in the morning to aſk for lodging, or any time when I am hungry. Thus I continued going from houſe to houſe, until my belly was like to burſt, and my pockets could hold no more; at laſt I came to a farmer's houſe, but thinking it not dark enough to prevail for lodging, I ſat down upon a ſtone at the end of the houſe, till day light would go away out of the weſt, and as I was getting up to go into the houſe, out comes the good wife, as I ſuppoſed, her to be, and ſat down at the end of the ſtone I being at the other, there ſhe began to make off