Page:History of Buckhaven.pdf/9

9 their college stands, they tell you, if your nose were in their a-your mouth would be at the door of it.

Now, it so happened, when Wise Willie turned old, he took a great swelling in his wame, and casting up his kail, collops. and cauld fish, that nothing could stand on his stomach, and a stout stomach he had for crabs' heads and scate-broth, or brose on a bridal morning, yet it failed him and he fell sick ; none could cure him nor tell what ailed him, till a mountebank stagedoctor came to Kircaldy, that could judge by people's piss, the trouble of their person.- Wise Willie hearing of his fame, pissed into a bottle, and sent it away with his daughter. The bottle being uncorked his daughter spilt it by the way; to conceal her sloth in so doing, she pissed in it herself, and goes on till she came to the stage-doctor, when she cried out aloud, Sir Docter, sir: Doctor, here's a bottle of my father's wash, he has a sair guts, and needs na drite ony. but spews a' he eats. Its true I telt you my dow. The doctor looks at it, then says, It's no your father's surely, it is your mother's The de'il's in the man, said she, dinna I ken my father frae my mither. Then said he, he is with child. The de'il's i' the man, said she, for my mither bare a' the bairns before; dats no true sir, fegs you're a great liar. Hame she comes, and tell'd Willie, her father, that the doctor said he was with bairn. O waes me, co'