Page:History of Buckhaven, or, The exploits of Wise Willie and Witty Eppie.pdf/9

9 their college stands, they tell you, if your nose were in their a-your mouth would be at the door of it. Now, it so happened, when Wise Willie turned old, he took a great swelling in his wame, and costing up his kail, collops, and cauld fish, that nothing could stand on his 'stomach, and a stout stomach he had "for crabs' heads and scate-broth, or brose on a bridal morning. yet it failed him, and he fell sick; none could cure him nor tell what ailed him, till a mountebank stage- doctor came to Kirkaldy, that could judge by people's piss the trouble of their person. Wise Willie hearing of his fame, pissed into a bottle, and sent it away with his daughter. The bottle being uncorked his daughter 'spilt it by the way; to conccal ger sloth in so doing, she pissed in it herself, and goes on till she came to the stage-doctor, when she cried out aloud, Sir Doctor, sir Doctor, here's a bottle of my father's wash, he has a sair guts and needs na drite ony, but spews a' he eats Its true I tell you my dow. The doctor looks at it, then says It's no your father's surely, it is your mother's. The de'il's i' the man, said she, dinna I ken my father frae my mither Then, said he, he is with child. The de'il's i' the man, said she, for my mither bare a' the bairns before ; dats no true sir, fegs you're a great liar. Hame she comes, and tell'd Willie, her father, that the doctor said he was with bairn. O waes me, quo'