Page:History of Buchaven (sic) in Fifeshire (2).pdf/14

 and how ye'll bare it, troth I dinna ken, but I would drink salt sea-water and drown it in my guts—for if men get ance the gate o' bearing weans themselves, they'll need nae mair wives. So Willie drank sea-water till his guts was like to rive, and out he got to ease him.self among the kail; and with the terrible noise of his farting, up starts a maukin behind him, who thought it was shot. Willie seeing her jump o'er the dyke, thought it was a child brought forth, and cried out, come back, my dear, and be christened, and dinna rin to the hills to be a pagan. So Willie grew better every day thereafter, being brought to bed in the kail yard; but his daughter was brought to bed some months after, which was the cause of the doctor's mistake.

Now Wise Willie lad a daughter called Rolling Coughing Jenny, because she spak thick, sax words at three times, half sense and half nonsense, as her own records will bear witness. She being with child, and delivcred of a bonnie lassie; and all the wiv in the town cried out be-go, laddie, it's