Page:History and comical transactions of Lothian Tom (4).pdf/4

 4 COMICAL TRANSACTIONS

ter's honſe, the wife was ſtooping into a big meal bar- rel, to bring out fome meal; there lie takes her by the feet, and coups her up into the barrel with lier head down, and her bare back-ſide uppermoſt; then runs in- to the ſchool, crying, O maſter! maſter! the de'il's looking out o' your meal ſtand, wi' a fat face, and a black ill faur'd mouth: yon's juſt Auld Nick if he be li- ving. At this the maſter ran with all the ſpeed he could to ſee what it was, and found it to be his own wife, ſpeechleſs and almoſt ſmothered to death, but as ſhe could not tell who did it, Tom got clear off: yet he was not ſatisfied without ſome more vengeance on the old fel- low: and knowing his maſter had a faſhion, when he was going to whip the boys, if they would not looſe their breeches willingly, he drew his knife and cut them through the waiſtband behind: So Tom goes to a but- cher and gets a raw pudding, and fills it with blood and water, and puts it within the waiſtband of his breeches, then goes to ſchool next day, and as the maſter was lit- ting with his back towards the fire, Tom lights a piece of paper, and ſets his wig in a low, which burnt for ſome time unperceived, until the flames came fizzing a. bout his ears: he firſt put out the flames by trampling on he wig, and being informed that Tom did it, flies to him in a rage, ordering him to looſe his breeches, but Tom told him lie was never ſo mad: then he drew his knife, and whips poor Tom over his knee, and with great kicking and ſtruggling, cuts the waiſtband of his orecches through pudding and all, ſo that the blood gaſh- d out, and Tom cried out murder! murder! and down le fell. The poor dominie went out of the door crying nd wringing his hands. Word flew about that Toni was ſticket by the dominie, which made the people come unning from ſeveral parts of the country round about, b ſee how it was: but ſearching him, they found only he empty pudding, which diſcovered the fraud: Then wo men had to get horſes and ride after the poor domi- ie, who had by this tine got two or three miles away, nd when he ſaw them coming after him, crying to ſtand, nd come back again, he ran the faſter, until he could in no more, but fell over on the road, praying them to let