Page:History and comical transactions of Lothian Tom (2).pdf/19

[ 21 ] dean ſhoy, our prieſt is a good ſhaint, and a good ſhoul, he alſo calf repent a pater noſter, and ve Maria, which will fright the very horned devil himſelf, and make old nick to run for it until he be like to fall and break his neck. T. And what does he give you when you are dying, that make you come alive again? P. Why, he w ites a letter on our tongue, ſealed with a pardon and a direction in our right hand who to call for at the port's of purgatory. T. But what entertainment will you get when you are in? P. O my dear we are all kept there until a general review, which is commonly once a week, and then they are all drawn up like ſo many young recruits, and all the blackguard ſcoundrils picked out of the ranks, and the one half of them is ſent away to the Elyſian fields to carry the eeds from mon the potatoes; the other half of them to the river Sticks to catch fiſhes for ſhaint P. trick's table; and all them that is owing the prieſts any money, is put in the black hole, and then given into the h nus of great big black bitch of a devil, which they keep for a l ng n, who whips them up and down the ſmokey dungeon every morning, for ſix months, then holds their bare backſides to a great fire, until their hips be all in one bi ter, and after all they are ſent awa to the p riſh of pig trantrum, where they will et nothing to e t but cold ſowens, barga, and butter milk. T. And where does your gead people go who are ſeparated from the bad? P. And where would you have them to go, but into the garden of Eden, now called paradiſe; h, my dear ſhoy, this is the re fundamental truths of our Romiſh religion and deep doctrine it is but you Engliſh, freſh, terians and Scots hi h churchmen ill not believe it and by ſhaint Patrick neither can I