Page:Hill's manual of social and business forms.djvu/184

142 bow between them when introduced being all that etiquette requires. The married lady will use her discretion when introduced to gentlemen.

Two parties meeting on the street, accompanied by friends, may stop and speak to each other without the necessity of introducing their friends, though, when parting, it is courtesy for each to give a parting salutation as though acquaintance had been formed.

Parties who may meet by chance at your house, when making calls, need not necessarily be introduced to each other. If, however, they continue their calls together, it may be agreeable to make them acquainted in order to more pleasantly carry forward conversation.

If you are a gentleman, do not let the lack of an introduction prevent you from rendering services to any unattended lady who may need them. Politely offer your protection, escort or assistance, and, when the service has been accomplished, politely bow and retire.

A visitor at your house should be introduced to the various callers, and the acquaintance should continue while the friend remains your guest. All callers should aim to make the visit of the friend as pleasant as possible, treating the guest as they would wish their friends to be treated under similar circumstances.

If thrown into the company of strangers, without the formality of an introduction, as is often the case when traveling and at other times, acquaintance may be formed between gentlemen and ladies, with proper reserve, but duty requires that the slightest approach toward undue familiarity should be checked by dignified silence.

Persons who have been properly introduced have claims upon the acquaintance of each other which should call for at least a slight recognition thereafter, unless there be very decided reasons for cutting the acquaintance entirely. To completely ignore another to whom you have been rightly introduced, by meeting the person with a vacant stare, is a mark of ill-breeding.

Introductions at Court and Presidential Receptions.

In paying your respects to the President of the United States, you will be introduced by the master of ceremonies on public occasions. At other times, to send in your card will secure you audience, although the better way is to be introduced by a mutual acquaintance, or a member of Congress. Introductions at Court in foreign countries are accompanied by a good deal of formality. At the English Court, the stranger, having the credential of the American Ambassador, will be introduced, if a lady, by a lady; if a gentleman, by a gentleman. Elsewhere abroad the proper method in each case can be best learned from our national representative at each capital. Court etiquette requires that the lady appear in full dress, and the gentleman in black suit, with white vest, gloves and necktie.

SUGGESTIONS CONCERNING THE BOW.

OMMON forms of salutation, in America, are the bow, the kiss, words of address, and shaking hands.

Acquaintances are usually entitled to the courtesy of a bow. It is poor policy to refuse recognition because of a trifling difference between parties.

The young lady should show a similar deference to an elderly lady, or to one in superior position, that a gentleman does to a lady.

A gentleman who may be smoking when he meets a lady, should in bowing remove the cigar from his mouth and from her presence.

When bowing to ladies, it is etiquette for the gentleman to raise his hat from his head. If passing on the street, the hat should be raised and salute given with the hand farthest from the person addressed.

A bow or graceful inclination should be made by ladies when recognizing their acquaintances of the opposite sex. It is the privilege of the lady to bow first.

A gentleman on horseback should grasp whip and reins in his left hand, and raise his hat with his right, when saluting a lady. The lady salutes by bowing slightly.

To a casual acquaintance you may bow without speaking; but to those with whom you are well acquainted, greater cordiality is due. A bow should always be returned; even to an enemy it is courtesy to return the recognition.

When a gentleman, accompanied by a friend, meets a lady upon the street, it is courtesy, in the salutation, for the gentleman's friend to bow slightly to the lady also, as a compliment to his companion, even though unacquainted with the lady.

On meeting a party, some of whom you are intimately acquainted with, and the others but little, the salutation should be made as nearly equal as possible. A slight recognition of some, and great demonstration of pleasure toward others, is a violation of etiquette.

A gentleman should return a bow made him upon the street, even if the one making the same is not recognized. The person may possibly be a forgotten acquaintance; but, even if a mistake has been made, there will be less embarrassment if the bow is returned.

A gentleman should not bow from a window to a lady on the street, though he may bow slightly from the street upon being recognized by a lady in a window. Such recognition should, however, generally be avoided, as gossip is likely to attach undue importance to it when seen by others.

A warm cordiality of manner, and a general recognition of acquaintances, without undue familiarity, is the means of diffusing much happiness, as well as genial and friendly feeling. In thinly settled localities, the habit of bowing to every one you meet is an excellent one, evincing, as it does, kindliness of feeling toward all. When meeting a lady who isa stranger, in a hallway, upon a staircase, or in close proximity elsewhere, courtesy demands a bow from the gentleman. In passing up a stairway, the lady will pause at the foot and allow the gentleman to go first; and at the head of the stairway he should bow, pause, and allow her to precede him in the descent.

How to Address Others.— Nicknames.

Use the title, when speaking to others, whenever possible. Thus, addressing John Brown, a Justice of the Peace, say, "Squire;" Dr. Bell, you will address as "Doctor;" Mayor Williams, as "Mayor;" Senator Snow, as "Senator;" Governor Smith, as "Governor;" Professor Stevens, as "Professor," etc.

Before all public bodies, take pains to address those in authority very respectfully, saying to the presiding officer, "Mr. President,"' or if he be a Mayor, Judge, or Justice, address him as "Your Honor," etc.

When stopping at the house of a friend, ascertain the Christian names of all the children, and of those servants that you frequently have to address; and then always speak respectfully to each, using the full Christian name, or any pet name to which they are accustomed.

To approach another in a boisterous manner, saying,' Hello, Old Fellow! " Hello Bob!" or using kindred expressions, indicates ill-breeding. If approached, however, in this vulgar manner, it is better to give a civil reply, and address the person respectfully, in which case he is quite likely to be ashamed of his own conduct.