Page:Henryk Sienkiewicz - Potop - The Deluge (1898 translation by Jeremiah Curtin) - Vol 1.djvu/443

Rh and fortified it, and thus assured the triumph of Radzivill in Jmud. "How could I go?" thought he; "the plague would in fact be a more welcome guest there than I! With Boguslav on a lariat at the saddle it would be possible; but with only my mouth and empty hands!"

If he had those letters he might join the confederates, he would have had Prince Yanush in hand, for those letters might undermine the credit of the hetman, even with the Swedes, — even with the price of them he might save Olenka; but some evil spirit had so arranged that the letters were lost.

When Kmita comprehended all this, he seized his own head a second time.

"For the Radzivills a traitor, for Olenka a traitor, for the confederates a traitor, for the king a traitor! I have ruined my fame, my honor, myself, and Olenka!" The wound in his face was burning, but in his soul hot pain, a hundred-fold greater, was burning him. In addition to all, his self-love as a knight was suffering. For he was shamefully beaten by Boguslav. Those slashes which Volodyovski had given him in Lyubich were nothing. There he was finished by an armed man whom he had called out in a duel, here by a defenceless prisoner whom he had in his hand.

With every moment increased in Kmita the consciousness of how terrible and shameful was the plight into which he had fallen. The longer he examined it the more clearly he saw its horror; and every moment he saw new black corners from which were peering forth infamy and shame, destruction to himself, to Olenka, wrong against the country, — till at last terror and amazement seized him.

"Have I done all this?" asked he of himself; and the hair stood on his head.

"Impossible! It must be that fever is shaking me yet," cried he. "Mother of God, this is not possible!"

"Blind, foolish quarreller," said his conscience, "this would not have come to thee in fighting for the king and the country, nor if thou hadst listened to Olenka."

And sorrow tore him like a whirlwind. Hei! if only he could say to himself: "The Swedes against the country, I against them! Radzivill against the king, I against him!" Then it would be clear and transparent in his soul. Then he might collect a body of cut-throats from under a dark