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 road stations gobble. They try to flirt and gobble at the same time. Whew! Susie and I have it all planned out. We’re saving our money, and when we get enough we’re going to buy a little cottage and five acres we know of, and live together, and grow violets for the Eastern market. A man better not bring his appetite within a mile of that ranch.’

“Don’t girls ever’ I commenced, but Mame heads me off, sharp.

“‘No, they don’t. They nibble a little bit sometimes; that’s all.’

“‘I thought the confec”

“‘For goodness’ sake, change the subject,’ says Mame.

“As I said before, that experience put me wise that the feminine arrangement ever struggles after deceptions and illusions. Take England—beef made her; wieners elevated Germany; Uncle Sam owes his greatness to fried chicken and pie, but the young ladies of the Shetalkyou schools, they’ll never believe it. Shakespeare, they allow, and Rubinstein, and the Rough Riders is what did the trick.

“’Twas a situation calculated to disturb. I couldn’t bear to give up Mame; and yet it pained me to think of abandoning the practice of eating. I had acquired the habit too early. For twenty-seven years I had been blindly rushing upon my fate, yielding to the insidious lures of that deadly monster, food. It was too late. I was a ruminant biped for