Page:Harper's New Monthly Magazine - v109.djvu/348



N the days of braggart youth (though, as now, I spoke the truth)
 * Of full appreciation oft I dreamt;

Now I'm old, my deeds are more than the sands upon the shore,
 * Yet I've learned to treat all sceptics with contempt,—
 * Exempt
 * Am I from all emotion save contempt.

Wild beasts of every sort I have hunted down for sport,
 * From Vlwostowck to the land of the Pooguls;

And those I did not kill I have led around at will,
 * For I have a winning way with animuls,
 * Which lulls
 * The passions of the wildest animuls.

As a youth I had a rub with a yellow, bobtailed Blub,—
 * I was hunting in the woods of Whangaree:

He was ten-foot-seven high, but I smote him in the eye,
 * Then, not knowing he was dead, went up a tree,—
 * Ah me,
 * I was young and ran for refuge up a tree!

How one's recollections pour through the past's half-opened door!
 * 'Twas about that time I roamed the Kumpic Zone,

And I fought an angry Swot in a lonely desert spot,
 * And I skinned him single-handed and alone,—
 * Ochone!
 * I have had my greatest triumphs when alone!

Yes, I remember once, how I killed a young Ger-unce,
 * And its parents galloped up with blazing breath,—

Though their pinions beat like flails, yet I tied their giant tails,
 * Then I waited till they pulled themselves to death.—
 * I gueth
 * You seldom see a more exciting death!

But I spent my proudest day on the shores of Doodel Bay,—
 * There I slew a huge Pohunk ere I was dressed,

With two Whoopees and a bunch of wild Flop-cats before lunch, —
 * Then I gave the afternoon to needed rest:
 * 'Twas best
 * To leave the smaller game-birds to the rest.

But 'twas near that very shore that a million (maybe more!)
 * Wild cannibals my prowess overcame;

And upon the Isle of Ghoo I was made into a stew,—
 * 'Tis the one disgrace attaching to my name,—
 * With shame
 * I admit this single blemish on my name.