Page:Harold Macgrath--The girl in his house.djvu/148

 a sweet nut. I was like that. I had a soul so big with love that when my wife died my soul left my body and went with hers into the Infinite. You will recall me, a shadow of a man, an insignificant automaton who lived for twenty-odd years in a groove—from my apartment to the office and back—and you will try with difficulty to conjure up the possibility of a woman loving me. What first calls love? A pleasure to the eye. A handsome man and a beautiful woman are first drawn by those attractive qualities which are pleasing to the eye. But the woman who loved me did not see me; she saw the soul of me. I was loved, even I, a drab shadow! And I went about my daily affairs, obsequious, hand-washing, a servant for hire, when I should have held my head like a king!"

Armitage bent his head in his hands.

"My curse was vanity. I was not vain, but I wanted to be strong and handsome. I wasn't even ugly, only insignificant. Often I gazed upon you with cold fury because you were endowed with the physical attributes I craved. Every soul has some hidden twist in it. I wasn't satisfied with a soul