Page:Hardy - Jude the Obscure, 1896.djvu/312

 I may hold the opinion that, in a proper state of society, the father of a woman's child will be as much a private matter of hers as the cut of her under-linen, on whom nobody will have any right to conjecture. But partly, perhaps, because it is by his generosity that I am now free, I would rather not be other than a little rigid. If there had been a rope ladder, and he had run after us with pistols, it would have seemed different, and I may have acted otherwise. But don't press me and criticise me, Jude! Assume that I haven't the courage of my opinions. I know I am a poor, miserable creature. My nature is not so passionate as yours!"

He repeated simply: "I thought—what I naturally thought. But if we are not lovers, we are not. Phillotson thought so, I am sure. See, here is what he has written to me." He opened the letter she had brought, and read:

"I make only one condition—that you are tender and kind to her. I know you love her. But even love may be cruel at times. You are made for each other: it is obvious, palpable, to any unbiassed third person. You were all along 'the shadowy third' in my short life with her. I repeat, take care of Sue."

"He's a good fellow, isn't he!" she said, with latent tears. On reconsideration she added, "He was very resigned to letting me go—too resigned almost. I never was so near being in love with him as when he made such thoughtful arrangements for my being comfortable on my journey, and offering to provide money. Yet I was not. If I loved him ever so little as a wife, I'd go back to him even now."

"But you don't, do you?"

"It is true—oh, so terribly true!—I don't."

"Nor me neither, I half fear," he said, pettishly. "Nor anybody, perhaps. Sue, sometimes, when I am vexed with you, I think you are incapable of real love."

"That's not good and loyal of you," she said; and