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 EAR Ma’am—we seldom take the pen
 * To praise, for whim and jest our trade is;

We’re used to deal with gentlemen, To spatter folly’s skirts, and then
 * We’re somewhat bashful with the ladies.

Nor is it meant to give advice;
 * We dare not take so much upon us;

But merely wish, in phrase concise, To beg you, Ma’am, and Mr. Price,
 * For God’s sake, to have mercy on us!

Oh! wave again thy wand of power,
 * No more in melodramas whine,

Nor toil Aladdin’s lamp to scour, Nor dance fandangoes by the hour
 * To Morgiana’s tambourine!

Think, Lady, what we’re doomed to feel—
 * By Heaven! ’twould rouse the wrath of Stoics,

To see the queen of sorrows deal