Page:Grinning made easy, or, Funny Dick's unrivalled collection of jests, jokes, bulls, epigrams &c. (1).pdf/8

 chair, to take the persons that were hissing into custody. The macer, with great coolness, answer-My Lord, they are all hissing.

Sir Boyle Roach, in one of the debates on the question of the Union, made a speech in favour of it, which he concluded by saying, that it would change the barren hills into fruitful vallies.

A man walking along after a woman, whose elegant shape excited his admiration, was not a little disappointed when he got up with her and saw her ordinary face—If, Madam, said he, you were as handsome before as you are behind, I would kiss you. You may, replied the lady, kiss where you think I am handsomest.

When Buchanan was tutor to James I, he found it necessary, one day, to give his most sacred Majesty a flogging. A lady of the court, being in the next room, and overhearing what passed, ran in, and catching the young king in her arms, asked Buchanan how he could lift his hand against the Lord’s anointed ; to which he replied, with great coolness, Madam, I have whipped his arse, you nay kiss it if you please.

Alphonso, King of Arragon, to whom a Jew wished to sell a picture of our Saviour for five hundred ducats, said, “ You are much more unconscionable than your ancestors, who sold the original for thirty pieces.”