Page:Grinning made easy, or, Funny Dick's unrivalled collection of jests, jokes, bulls, epigrams &c. (1).pdf/4

 the field of Bannockburn, so celebrated for the total defeat of the English army, by Robert the Bruce with an army of Scottish heroes, not one found their number. A sensible country man pointed out the positions of both armies, the stone where the Bruce’s standard was fixed during the battle &c.—Highly satisfied with his attention, the gentlemen, on leaving him, pressed his acceptance of a crown-piece,—Na, na, said the honest man, returning the money, keep your crown-piece—the English have paid dear enough already for seeing the field of Bannockburn.

Judge Toler, afterwards Lord Norbury, whose severity was at one time proverbial, was at a public dinner with Curran the celebrated Irish lawyer. Toler observing Curran carving a piece of corn beef, told him, if it was hung beef he would try it. If you try it, my Lord, replied Curran, I am sure it will be hung.

A gentleman coming into a coffee-room one stormy night, said. He never saw such a wind in his life. Saw a wind, says a friend, I never heard of such a thing as seeing a wind; pray, what was it like? Like answered the Gentleman, like to have blown my hat off.

A young lady going into a barrack-room at Fort George, saw an officer toasting a slice of bread on the point of his sword. On which she exclaimed,