Page:Grinning made easy, or, Funny Dick's unrivalled collection of jests, jokes, bulls, epigrams &c. (1).pdf/3

 GRINNING MADE EASY.

Mr. Serjeant Gardner, being lame of one leg, and pleading before the late Judge Fortescue, who ad little or no nose, the judge told him, he was afraid he had but a lame cause of it. Oh ! my lord, said the serjeant have but a little patience, and I’ll warrant I prove every thing as plain as the nose on your face !

Hume the historian, passing one day by the back of Edinburgh Castle, where the ground is very swampy, and the foot path narrow, inadvertently stumbled into the bog, where he stuck, not being able to extricate himself. A washor-woman happening to pass at the time, looked at him, and was travelling on, when he shouted after her to lend him her assistance. Na, na, (replied the woman) you are Hume the Deist. Well, well, no matter, replied he—you know, good woman, your Christian charity commands you to do good even to your enemies. Na, I winna, said she, unless you will first repeat the Creed and the Lord’s Prayer. Having no alternative, he was forced to accede to the pious woman’s terms.

Two English gentlemen, some time ago, visited