Page:Grinning made easy, or, Funny Dick's unrivalled collection of jests, jokes, bulls, epigrams &c. (1).pdf/13

 Threepence, my Lord. There is six-pence for, you, then, Sir; and remember you owe me a piss.

Mr Ogilvy, a Scottish Clergyman, at Lunan, in Forfarshire, had a great deal of eccentricity in his character and manner.—One Sunday when he was in the middle of his sermon, an old woman, who kept an alehouse in the parish, fell asleep. Her neighbour jogged her, in order to awaken her. The Minister seeing this, said. I'll waken her fast enough ; and immediately giving a loud whistle, cried out ‘ Janet! a bottle of ale and a dram !” ‘ Coming, Sir,’ said the old lady, starting out of her nap.

The Sexton of a parish-church in Shropshire insisted on a poor man, who had lost his leg by amputation, paying sixteen pence for burying it. The man appealed to the Rector, who said that he could not relieve him in the present case ; but he would consider in his fees when the remainder of his body came to be buried.

Epitaph on a Physician.

Here Docter Fisher lies interr’d.

Who filled the half of this church-yard.

A certain bruising Parson having been examined as a witness in the Court of King’s Bench, the adverse Counsel attempted to browbeat him; I think you are the bruising Parson, said he. I am,