Page:Grinning made easy, or, Funny Dick's unrivalled collection of jests, jokes, bulls, epigrams &c. (1).pdf/12

 satisfaction, a man hanging on a gibbet. This delight affored us by this cheering sight is inconceivable, for it convinced us that we were in a civilized country

When the Earl of Clancartie was Captain of a man of war, he lost his Chaplain. The First Lieutenant, a Scotchman, announced his death to his Lordship, adding, he was sorry to inform him that the chaplain died a Roman Catholic. Well, so much the better, said his Lordship. Oot awa my Lord, how can you say so of a Breetish Clergyman ? Why, replied his Lordship, because I believe I am the first Captain that ever could boast of a Chaplain who had any religion at all.

An attorney being employed to draw the Testament of a rich man, was requested to word it in such a manner, that no room might be left for contestation among his heirs. That quoth the man of law, is imposible. Can I go beyond our Saviour whose Testament has been a perpetual soure of contest for these eighteen hundred years ?

The late learned Lord Kames, one day, after coming out of the Court of Edinburgh, went to make water at a place where the centinel on duty assumes a power of levying a fine for such transgression. My Lord said the soldier, you are fined. For what ? For pissing at this place. How much ?