Page:Grinning made easy, or, Funny Dick's unrivalled collection of curious, comical, odd, droll, humorous, witty, whimsical, laughable, and eccentric jests, jokes, bulls, epigrams, &c..pdf/13

 he was sorry to inform him that the chaplain died a Roman Catholic. Well, so much the better, said his Lordship. Oot awa my Lord, how can you say so of a Breetish Clergyman? Why, replied his Lordship, because I believe I am the first Captain that ever could boast of a Chaplain who had any religion at all.

An attorney being employed to draw the Testament of a rich man, was requested to word it in such a manner, that no room might be left for contestation among his heirs. That, quoth the man of law, is impossible. Can I go beyond our Saviour whose Testament has been a perpetual source of contest for these eighteen hundred years?

The late learned Lord Kames, one day, after coming out of the Court of Edinburgh, went to make water at a place where the centinel on duty assumes a power of levying a fine for such transgression. My Lord said the soldier, you are fined. For what? For pissing at this place. How much? Three- pence, my Lord. There is six pence for you, then, Sir; and remember you owe me a piss.

Mr Ogilvy, a Scottish Clergyman, at