Page:Grinning made easy, or, Funny Dick's unrivalled collection of curious, comical, odd, droll, humorous, witty, whimsical, laughable, and eccentric jests, jokes, bulls, epigrams, &c..pdf/10

 The Captain of one of the British frigates, a man of undaunted bravery, had a natural antipathy to a cat. A sailor, who from misconduct had been ordered a flogging, saved his back by presenting to his Captain the following petition:
 * By your Honour's command,
 * A culprit I stand---
 * An example to all the ship's crew;
 * I am pinion'd and stript,
 * And condemn'd to be whipt;
 * And, if I am flogg'd 'tis my due!
 * A cat, I am told,
 * In abhorrence you hold;
 * Your Honour's aversion is mine!
 * If a cat with one tail
 * Makes your stout heart to fail,
 * O, save me from one that has NINE!

Two boys, belonging to the chaplains of two different men of war, entertaining each other with an account of their respective manners of living--How often, Jack, says the one, do you go to prayers? Why, answered Jack, we pray when we are afraid of a storm, or going to fight! Aye, quoth the other, there is some sense in that; but my master makes us go to prayers when there is