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28 use of the Greek word so-and-so," taking it for granted that his pious dupes will, at "the Greek word so-and-so," open their mouths wide in reverent ignorance, and let the most holy and deeply-erudite man of God have it all his own way. What a poor, detected charlatan the parson would seem if only a scholar or two could be found to be fools enough to listen to his pulpit drivel, and confront him with the damning truth, "Rev. Sir, there is, as you are very well aware, no 'original.' The oldest MS. is not older than the fourth century, and it is notoriously imperfect; and, even if there were an 'original,' by all the canons of scholarship, it would not bear the translation you thrust upon your version. Would it not be more manly, Rev. Sir, more honourable, to take a spade or an axe and work honestly for your daily bread, than thus to get up into your gospel-box and, for a living, impose upon the ignorance of the ignorant?"

Paul—other "holy men of God" may possibly do likewise—occasionally writes on his own account, but with a kind of vague conjecture that the Holy Ghost or Holy Wind would approve what he writes:

This means that, at times, Paul did not feel so afflicted with sacred flatulency that he was quite sure he was "inspired." Did he test the extent of inspiration by striking his hand against his abdomen to ascertain whether it were sufficiently inflated with the Holy Wind? If, under a blow from his fist, his abdomen boomed like a drum, did he take this as an omen that he was thoroughly under the influence of inspiration? The "holy men of God"—the Ezras, the Pauls, and the rest of them—sitting, pen in hand, with terribly-distended abdomens, producing the Bible, "the source of England's greatness," is a burlesque well worthy the burlesque of a book they have produced, and the tragic burlesque of millions of mankind taking it for a sporadic and exceptional expression of supernal wisdom. Leeze me upon the. The Holy Spirit = Holy Wind theory of