Page:Gissing - The Nether World, vol. III, 1889.djvu/95

 because you are not heartless; but at the same time you obey your reason, which tells you that all I suffer comes of my own self-will.”

“I should like you to think better of me than that. I’m not one of those people, I hope, who use every accident to point a moral, and begin by inventing the moral to suit their own convictions. I know all the details of your misfortune.”

“Oh, wasn’t it cruel that she should take such revenge upon me!” Her voice rose in unrestrained emotion. “Just because she envied me that poor bit of advantage over her! How could I be expected to refuse the chance that was offered? It would have been no use; she couldn’t have kept the part. And I was so near success. I had never had a chance of showing what I could do. It wasn’t much of a part, really, but it was the lead, at all events, and it would have made people pay attention to me. You don’t know how strongly I was always drawn to the stage; there I found the work for which I was meant. And I strove so hard to make my way. I had no friends, no money. I earned only just enough to supply my needs. I know what