Page:Gaskell - North and South, vol. II, 1855.djvu/351

 "Not a failure. I must give up business, but I pay all men. I might redeem myself—I am sorely tempted—"

"How? Oh, John! keep up your name—try all risks for that. How redeem it?"

"By a speculation offered to me, full of risk; but, if successful, placing me high above water-mark, so that no one need ever know the strait I am in. Still, if it fails—"

"And if it fails," said she, advancing, and laying her hand on his arm, her eyes full of eager light. She held her breath to hear the end of his speech.

"Honest men are ruined by a rogue," said he gloomily. "As I stand now, my creditors' money is safe—every farthing of it; but I don't know where to find my own—it may be all gone, and I penniless at this moment. Therefore, it is my creditors' money that I should risk."

"But if it succeeded, they need never know. Is it so desperate a speculation? I am sure it is not, or you would never have thought of it. If it succeeded—"

"I should be a rich man, and my peace of conscience would be gone!"

"Why! You would have injured no one."

"No; but I should have run the risk of ruining many for my own paltry aggrandisement. Mother, I have decided! You won't much grieve over our leaving this house, shall you, dear mother?"

"No! but to have you other than what you are will break my heart. What can you do?"

"Be always the same John Thornton in whatever circumstances; endeavouring to do right, and