Page:Fun upon fun, or, The comical merry tricks of Leper the taylor (4).pdf/11

11 her a dram, but ſhe in her hypocriſy pretended ſhe could not take it, and called him to help her to her bed. Into her bed he lays her, and he was not well gone until ſhe fell to her bottle, taking two or three hearty gluts, then the fire roars out murder, for ſhe was poisoned, ſhe was poiſoned. Bocking and purging began, and the neighbours are called in, ſhe leaves her blood on poor Leper, and tells how ſuch an honeſt woman brought her ae bottle as another was done, and the murdering lown bad ſtole it, and put in a bottle of poiſon inſtead of it. Leper took to his heels, but was purſued and carried before, a Juſtice of Peace, where he told that he had done, which made the Juftice laugh heartily at the joke, and the Taylor's wife was well purged, both from ber feigned ſickneſs, lazineſs, and curſed ill nature, for always when ſhe began to curl her noſe for the future, the Taylor had no more to fay, "But, Maggy, Maggy, mind the bottle,

Leper was working with a maſter taylor in Glaſgow, who hungered his men, and one morning juſt as the breakfaſt was ſet on the table, in comes gentleman to try on a ſuit of clothes; the Maſter being obliged to riſe, deſired the lads to ſay the grace themſelves, every one refuſed it, and put it to his neighbours till Leper took it upon him, and ſaid as follows, with an audible voice, that the ſtranger gentleman might overhear him; "Oh, hoch, we are a parcel of poor beaſtly bodies, and we're as beaſtly guided, if we do not work we get nothing to eat, yet we are always resting and always fretting, fidging and half faſting is like to be our fortune, ſeartings and ſcrapings are the moſt of our nouthfu's; we would fain thank thee for thy fulneſs if ever it were to, but the rest of us benefactors, are not worth the acknowledging, hech hey, Amen." which made the gentleman laugh till be held his