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money. When he was at the door, he says, 'Sir, will you stand another quarter.' 'Get away, says Mess John, and don't trouble me.' Leper says, 'I am sure you may, for I am always twopence to your penny.'

THE END.

ANECDOTES.

INCONVENIENCE OF A PETITION.

A reverend Gentleman, when visiting his parishioners, was in one house first saluted with the growling of a dog, and afterwards by the cheering voice of a female. D-ning the dog for his ill-breeding, he advanced and enquired for the master of the house. 'What do ye want wi' that?' said the female. 'We are wishing to see him,' said the Reverend Gentleman, 'will ye be so good as bring him to us?' 'I'll gang nae sie an errand,' said she; 'ye may gang doon to the market yersel', an' ye'll see him there; they're thrang killin' the day. But what are ye wantin' wi' Pate, if a body micht speir.' 'This is the minister,' said the elder who accompanied him, 'he is wishing to have some conversation with Peter, and to put up a petition.' 'A petition! a petition!'exclaimed the matron, 'ye'll put up nae petition here; the house