Page:Freud - Selected papers on hysteria and other psychoneuroses.djvu/64

50 despair at being unable as a lonesome girl to enjoy life or to accomplish anything in life. Until then she felt strong enough to dispense with the help of a man, but now she was controlled by a feeling of her womanly weakness, a yearning for love in which, to put it in her own words, "her obdurate self began to soften." In such humor the happy marriage of her younger sister made the profoundest impression on her. She thought how affectionately he cared for her, how they understood each other with a mere glance, and how sure they seemed to be of each other. It was truly regrettable that the second pregnancy followed so quickly the first and her sister knew that this was the cause of her suffering but how willingly she endured it and all because he was the cause of it. The brother-in-law did not at first wish to participate in the walk which was so intimately connected with Elisabeth's pain; he preferred to remain home with his sick wife, but the latter urged him with a glance to go because she thought that would give Elisabeth pleasure. Elisabeth remained with him throughout the whole walk; they spoke about the most varied and intimate things; she found herself in a thorough accord with all he said, and she became overwhelmed with the desire to possess a man like him. This was followed by a scene a few days later, when, on the morning after their departure, she visited the point commanding the beautiful view which had been their favorite walk. There she seated herself upon a stone and again dreamed of her sister's happiness and of a man like her brother-in-law who could engage her affections. When she arose she had pains which again disappeared, and only in the afternoon after having taken the warm bath did they reappear, remaining ever since. I attempted to investigate the thoughts which occupied her mind while taking the bath, but all I could obtain was that the bath house recalled her absent sister because she had lived in the same house.

For some time the state of affairs was clear to me. Absorbed in painfully sweet recollections she was wholly unconscious of the drift of her thoughts and continued to reproduce her reminiscences, the time in Gastein, the worry connected with the expectations of the letter, finally the information of her sister's illness, the long wait until the evening when she could first leave Gastein, the journey with its tormenting uncertainties during a