Page:Free Opinions, Freely Expressed on Certain Phases of Modern Social Life and Conduct.djvu/287

 Best County Houses. For the taking of any bold or conspicuous part in any National Matter of Interest or Importance has long been sagaciously avoided by every County Member who desires to retain His Seat. And that one Man should do what his Colleagues dare not attempt, would be a Heroism which, thanks unto Thee, O Prudent Presiding Deity of Grandmotherly Westminster, is fortunately not to be expected of my Husband!

Finally I thank Thee, O Wise and All-Discerning, for the Gracious Consolation which Thou hast imparted unto me in the fact that though my Husband is the Embodiment of county Vacuity, the Majority of the King's Faithful Commons are as Vacuous as He! For, as in the multitude of Ants in an Anthill, One insect more industrious or intelligent than the rest is not easily discovered, even so, in the goodly array of Stupid Members, the Stupidest of them all may conveniently sit in his Seat without public Comment.

And for the Constant Enjoyment of my own Admitted Position among the Tea-Drinking, Fox-Hunting and Bucolic élite of the Neighbourhood,—for the graceful Ease with which I assume to be what I am not, by reason of the Two Letters attached to my Husband's Name, which gives much more importance to Me than to Him,—and for the general comfortable Self-Assertiveness in which I live and move and have my being, I bless Thee, O Potent little Deity of the Polling-Booth, and acknowledge Thy Manifold Mercies! May the Seat of my Husband continue firm in Thy Sight, unmoved by any Popular Caprice of the Vulgar, until such time as my eldest Hopeful Son, the very pattern