Page:Free Opinions, Freely Expressed on Certain Phases of Modern Social Life and Conduct.djvu/283

 THE THANKSGIVING OF THE SMALL COUNTRY M.P's WIFE,

WHICH SHE OFFERETH WEEK-END-LY

To Thee, O Bland and Blessëd Deity of Surplus Cash and Social Advancement, whose favours are never bestowed upon the Poor or the Wise, but only on the Rich and the Foolish, I give praise, honour and glory!

I thank Thee that Thou hast made of that Supreme Ass, my Husband, a Member of the Government, so that, despite his utter Lack of Wit and Hopeless Incompetency, he may at least pass muster for having Brains in a particularly Brainless Constituency!

I acknowledge Thy mercy and goodness in permitting that for the moderate cost of Two Thousand Pounds and upwards,—a sum not greatly in excess of my dressmaker's annual bill,—I may set my foot on the two dumb and prostrate Letters of the Alphabet now attached to my said Husband's new calling and Election, and may mount thereon to those heights of County Society where, ever since I was born I have eagerly thirsted to be! For though County Society be often duller than the fabled Styx, nevertheless the leaden