Page:Francesca Carrara 2.pdf/247

244 he) looked relieved by being again able to sit in silence and in thought.

It is curious to mark the many shapes taken by mental suffering. With some it at once assumes the mask and the manner, puts on smiles, and forces the gay and brilliant word. These are they who are sensitively alive to the opinions of others, who, having once been called animated, deem that they have a character to sustain. Such shrink with morbid susceptibility from its being supposed how much they really feel; and vanity—vanity, by the by, in its most graceful and engaging form, usually native to such characters—aids them to support the seeming. They cannot endure being thought less agreeable; and only in solitude give way to the regret which oppresses them—then exaggerated to the utmost. Ah! none know the misery of such solitude but those who have felt it. The reaction of forced excitement is terrible; pale, spiritless, and exhausted, we are left suddenly alone with our memory, which on the instant acquires an almost magical power of creation; every sorrowful passage in existence is retraced anew, every mortification rises up in double bitterness; slights are magnified, and even invented,—they almost seem deserved; for we are ashamed of ourselves for having acted a part. We