Page:Folk-lore - A Quarterly Review Volumes 32 and 33.djvu/55

Rh the road, she must turn aside (when still) a long way off, so that they may not meet face to face; she must walk outside the road while her father-in-law walks in the road, so that he may pass; and then let the daughter-in-law come (back) into the road. Further, the father-in-law does not call his daughters-in-law by the names of their maidenhood, which were given them by their fathers who begot them; he strictly avoids them; even if he is speaking about any matter at all (which does not directly concern her), he has to look out that his tongue may not slip and call his daughter-in-law by name; and likewise the daughter-in-law has to look out carefully lest her tongue, when speaking of matters in general, should slip and mention the name of her father-in-law; this is the custom of mutual avoidance among the black people. And a man also suffers inconvenience through having to avoid his daughters-in-law; and they too, in like manner, through having to avoid their husband's father. But if their husband's father is a decent man, who behaves well to all his children, there is no hardship in paying him great respect; it is sweet to the daughters-in-law, because he (in his turn) shows great respect to them: it is very sweet to the hearts of the daughters-in-law to say, "Father" to the father of their husband. And he could not say that they are wives, just as they cannot say that he is a husband; for, if he says, "Bafazi," he has done wrong; they will no longer want to respect him, because he has taken the position of their husband, who says, "Wife," there being no blame (attaching) to the woman because he has married her; but to the husband's father there is blame, if he says to his daughter-in-law "Mfazi"; (in which case) the daughter-in-law will say: "Father, am I your wife or not?" If the father is a decent man, he will say, "I have done wrong, my child," and he will at once pay her a fine of a goat or some beads, so that the evil (bitter) feeling may stop there. But if the father of the husband is not a good man, and does