Page:Fielding - Sex and the Love Life.pdf/58

 The common occurrence of "love at first sight" is unquestionably based upon the instinctive association of an unconscious ideal in arousing the emotion of love. Relatives and friends usually say in these cases, "What in the world can she see in him?" or "What can he possibly see in her?"

But there is some subtle attraction at work, which has never been explained so satisfactorily as by the theory of an unconscious sex ideal formed by the experiences and associations of infancy and childhood.

Fetichism. We have observed the indelible psychic impression that the parent of the opposite sex makes upon the mind of the child. It has been implied that it is not so much a complete picture of a personality that is idealized as it is a collection of fragments. These fragments that leave their impression upon us—as they do on everyone—become in normal life symbols that awaken pleasing sentiments; or, abnormally, fetiches that obsess the mind of the individual harboring them. In a sense, we are all fetichists in some degree.

When, for instance, a man obtains sentimental satisfaction in preserving a lock of hair or handkerchief or glove of his sweetheart, or of someone else dear to him; and when a woman treasures the flower or other object worn by her lover, we have examples of fetichism that are quite normal and socially acceptable.

In all cases, forgotten memories of infancy and childhood are the bases of fetiches. They represent fragments of early experiences to which there is attached an emotional response. Normally these unconscious memories lead one to admire certain features or characteristics of members of the opposite sex.